Pilgrimage: Facing fears
“The dangers of life are infinite, and among them is safety.”
—Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Life is about balancing risk — and so, in a tiny way, is a solo pilgrimage, even if you’re walking along established routes and staying in pre-booked accommodation each night.
Pilgrimages are generally not wilderness walks and do not cross extreme terrains where physical safety is more of an issue, but regardless, you will probably have fears before your journey. I certainly did!
Preparation is the best way to avoid trouble, so I wrote down my concerns before leaving and found ways to mitigate them as much as possible. Often our fears about something happening are greater than the actual event, if it even happens, but it’s good to consider in advance what you might do, just in case.
The benefits of pilgrimage are worth stretching yourself for, so don’t let your fears stop you.
Here are some of my fears and others that might concern you.
Fear of getting lost
This is a natural concern, especially when walking solo, but most pilgrimages are well way-marked and, depending on the route and season you walk, there will be other pilgrims ahead of you on the way. While other people might be useful for reference, don’t follow blindly, as I saw pilgrims heading off in the wrong direction several times on the Camino.
I found the Pilgrims’ Way a perfect first route as a novice navigator and as my first solo multi-day walk. Much of the way is on established paths and trails and it’s well-signposted. You’re never too far from civilisation, so you don’t need to carry anything more than basic supplies. There are coffee shops, cafes, and pubs along the route and plenty of B & Bs and hotels, so you don’t need to camp. You can get a taxi or a train or a bus from many points if you decide to stop walking or need help.
But of course, I didn’t know that before setting out!
I mitigated my fear by doing National Navigation Award Scheme (NNAS) training, as well as detailed route planning with the guidebook and physical OS Maps. I carried my phone in a small dry-bag with Google Maps and the OS Maps app and an external battery for charging during the day. I used Google Maps at several points, particularly in built-up urban areas, when it was harder to navigate the physical map due to scale.
Despite all my planning and preparation, I got lost a few times on the Pilgrims’ Way, but only for a short time. At one point, I ended up wandering around a strawberry farm until I found a tiny path at the side of an overgrown hedge which had covered the way-marker.
I also took an unnecessary route through some gritty housing estates on the outskirts of east London towards Dartford. But neither experience was a big deal, and it became part of the challenge. On one estate in London, a teenage girl stopped me, her eyes wide with surprise. She said she had never seen anyone with such a big backpack and said she felt tired even just walking up the stairs in her house. She couldn’t believe I was walking for so many days, and I like to think perhaps I inspired her a little. But I was clearly off the route that day!
The St Cuthbert’s Way was more challenging, and I had to use more active navigation skills in places where the way-markers were more spaced out, and sometimes missing altogether or on the reverse side of posts.
On a narrow stretch of path, a couple of dog walkers stood aside to let me pass. I continued down to a waterfall and then (unthinkingly) crossed the river and walked on through several fields before checking the map and realising I was off course. I was in a valley and there was no phone signal and I only had a vague idea of where I was.
I should have turned around and retraced my steps, but I thought I could circle back up to the path. I did circle back, but in the opposite direction, so I walked a few extra kilometres that day. On the second time around, after meeting fellow pilgrims Dave and Keith, I discovered that the dog walkers had stood in front of the way-marker.
Fear of other people
This is not something I generally worry about because I love walking alone and have done it often in my own country as well as traveling solo abroad. But as I shared pictures on Instagram @jfpennauthor each day, several women asked whether I was anxious walking alone or whether I feared being attacked, so I wanted to cover it here.
The Pilgrims’ Way was quiet, especially in autumn 2020, when people were staying home because of the pandemic. I was alone most of the time outside of urban areas, and the only people I saw were dog walkers or fellow hikers, friendly people who love their solitude as much as I do. We nodded or said hello, but there wasn’t much interaction on the way. As an introvert, I was happy with that.
The St Cuthbert’s Way was even quieter. I walked alone for most of the time, and the few people I did meet were fellow pilgrims. The Camino de Santiago was quite the opposite in that it was busy with pilgrims every day, so it was difficult to walk alone.
The media stoke fear of others, highlighting tragic and violent events, but in my travels over the decades, much of it alone, I have rarely felt unsafe. Of course, I’ve had my share of difficult encounters, but they have usually been in bars and other urban settings rather than out walking in the sun and the wind and the rain. People are mostly lovely and will help a stranger, as you would help someone in need.
However, I am cautious and sensible. For each of my pilgrimages, I walked in daylight and made sure to reach my accommodation each night before dark. I planned my itinerary in advance and gave copies to Jonathan and my mum, so they knew where I was. I shared my location with Jonathan on my phone so he could see where I was real-time, and texted during the day, plus I called every evening.
I also walk with confidence, even with a backpack on. My hard-working single mum drilled this into me as a child because I would walk home alone from school. She took me and my brother to Tang Soo Do martial arts classes where the instructor taught us to ‘walk like a predator, not like prey.’ I’ve never forgotten that advice. If you feel like prey when walking alone, consider taking self-defence classes to help with confidence.
While these pilgrimages are mostly safe and away from main roads and traffic, there is some danger from people in cars on the roads. There are places where routes cross or link with sections of road with limited visibility, especially at dawn or dusk.
I walked the Pilgrims’ Way in the autumn when twilight came early and the only time I was scared was walking into traffic at dusk, where there was no footpath. I wore a head torch and later bought reflective patches so I was more visible. Make sure drivers can see you, and get off the road as fast as possible when you hear a vehicle approaching. This is less of a problem if you’re walking during summer months with longer days.
Fear of COVID-19, illness, and pain
In October 2020, when I walked the Pilgrims’ Way, I wasn’t afraid of other people physically harming me, but I was walking during a pandemic. We had all been taught to fear other people coughing or even breathing anywhere near us and the fear was palpable, with people veering away or turning their backs to avoid sharing air. I was staying in accommodation along the route and eating in pubs or cafes, so it was possible that I would meet the virus in some form.
Looking back now, the number of cases in the UK were nowhere near what they would be later in the pandemic, but at the time, the fear of the virus was rampant and it was before vaccination reduced the risk of severe disease and death.
I absolutely had reservations about going, but my risk profile as a reasonably fit forty-five-year-old woman with no underlying health conditions was low. My mental health situation was more serious at the time and my need to get away was greater than my fear of illness.
For most of that first pilgrimage, I interacted with so few people I could almost forget the pandemic, and that was a relief in itself. I was outside on my own in the fresh air, and when I went into a shop, cafe, hotel, or B & B, I followed all the requirements around wearing a mask, sanitising, hand-washing, and social distancing.
I caught COVID-19 in July 2021, so by the time I walked the St Cuthbert’s Way later that October, I had been vaccinated and also had a level of natural immunity. For the Camino in 2022, the world was learning to live with the virus and it was less of a concern, and certainly not a fear for me anymore.
In more general terms, we all get sick sometimes and being in another country means different food and water, as well as different strains of common diseases. I carried basic painkillers, Imodium for quick relief of diarrhoea, antihistamines for bites and stings, as well as electrolyte powder for dehydration. I used the latter on several hot and sweaty days on the Camino.
In terms of preparing for any other health issues, two of my pilgrimages were in the UK. I knew I could get to a doctor or hospital easily if necessary, and I could also be home within half a day. For the Camino, I had a UK Global Health Insurance Card (GHIC) and I also have private travel insurance.
Even if you don’t get sick, some kind of physical pain from the exertion of walking long days, multiple days in a row with a full pack, is (almost) inevitable. While I expected a certain amount of stiffness and aches, I was worried about hurting myself in a more serious fashion before the Pilgrims’ Way.
I had to walk between twenty-five and forty-two kilometres per day and I had never carried my bigger pack for an entire trip, plus I had not walked six days in a row before. I was alone, so what if I fell and twisted my ankle or broke my leg? What if I had such terrible blisters, I couldn’t walk?
To counteract these fears, I trained for the distance and was careful to walk with poles when the ground was muddy or uneven to prevent a fall.
You can further mitigate risks in the following ways:
Prepare for the route and expected weather conditions
When you step out on pilgrimage, you must embrace the elements. You have to be ready for what might come based on the particular route and season, but you also have to adapt to the situation.
For the St Cuthbert’s Way in the north-east of England in the autumn, I carried full wet weather gear and extra layers for warmth, whereas for the Camino at a similar time, it was mostly warm and I only carried a light waterproof and wore quick-dry shorts.
I had several full days of rain and storms on all three routes, some freezing mornings on the St Cuthbert’s Way, and some sweltering days on the Camino. You cannot control the weather, you can only prepare for it.
Use technology, but have analogue backups just in case
For all three pilgrimages, I used navigation apps on the route, but also carried a paper guidebook and maps.
I carried an external battery for my phone so I could charge it on the walk. I needed it several times, so it was worth the extra weight.
If you use the Komoot app, you can share the route with others, so I shared all my walks with Jonathan. We also have a family Apple account so he could see where I was in real-time using the Find My (wife) function.
Ask other people for help if you need it
While there were stretches of each route where I walked alone without seeing people for a while, all pilgrimages (outside of the depths of winter) have other people walking the way. They are pilgrims like you, or people who live in the area. If you need help, ask for it. Most people will help a pilgrim in need.
“Resilience is the ability to regulate one’s response to fear.”
—Barbara Bradley Hagerty, Life Reimagined
Questions:
• What are you afraid of? Write down everything big and small, rational and irrational.
• How can you mitigate those fears?
• You can never get rid of all your fear. Is it worth going on pilgrimage anyway?
Resources:
• Check your country’s government site before traveling. UK Government travel advice per country which includes COVID-19 and other disease risk — www.gov.uk/foreign-travel-advice
• UK Global Health Insurance Card — www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/healthcare-abroad/apply-for-a-free-uk-global-health-insurance-card-ghic/
• Life Reimagined: The Science, Art, and Opportunity of Midlife — Barbara Bradley Hagerty
