Pilgrimage: Walking alone or with others
“Just as alone time can be important for creation (and possible subsequent destruction), it can also be necessary for restoration.”
—Stephanie Rosenbloom, Alone Time
My personal definition of pilgrimage has always been walking alone on a multi-day route, carrying my own pack. Others go in groups, or have luggage portered to their accommodation. Still others walk day trips, or cycle the whole way. Each pilgrim must choose their own challenge, based on their particular situation, and of course, there are pros and cons of walking solo or with others.
If you walk alone, it’s all on you
You make your own decisions, and your own mistakes. You have no one to give up responsibility to.
This is both the major benefit of solo walking, and the aspect that most people fear. Planning and then walking a multi-day trip alone is a great way to prove you can be independent and rely on yourself. You have to figure your way out of situations, whatever they might be.
I walked out of a village one morning on the Pilgrims’ Way, and as the path wound steeply uphill across bare fields, I just couldn’t go on any longer.
Yes, I was tired, but it was also October 2020, when the world was out of control with the pandemic. I was scared for myself and my family. I read the news each day with a sense of impending doom, and I hadn’t slept properly for almost a year. I couldn’t see any point in continuing with the pilgrimage.
I couldn’t see any point in continuing at all.
I sat down by the edge of the path and wept.
I could have phoned Jonathan and he would have comforted me, but he was not there to carry my pack or suggest a solution. I had to figure it out for myself.
There are times when you want to give up on every journey — sometimes multiple times. If you are alone, it is all on you.
I pulled out an emergency Snickers bar (which I always have in reserve!) and ate it as I wiped my tears away. Then I hefted my pack on and walked up the hill.
When you are alone, only you can choose to continue. Only you can comfort yourself. You have to find motivation — and the will to walk on cultivates resilience.
The following year, I found myself lost on the St Cuthbert’s Way, with only horses and sheep for company — and no mobile phone reception for GPS. I had to navigate back to the path using only my own skills and senses. I ended up walking an extra four kilometres that day, but figuring it out was worth it for the satisfaction of solo achievement.
If you are with someone else, or have a group leader, you give up responsibility for navigation. While you don’t have to fear getting lost, you also lose the sense of accomplishment and satisfaction that comes from dealing with such situations.
When walking alone, there are no distractions and no one else to interpret the world
You can figure out what you think, what you find interesting, and what resonates with you.
When you walk with others, it’s easy to become distracted by conversation about all kinds of things that take you out of the present moment. You will miss aspects of the world around you, and may be influenced by how others interpret the surroundings.
On a pilgrimage, there are aspects of spirituality that are yours alone, and the influence of others who experience the divine in different ways may detract from your individual response.
Of course, “wherever you go, there you are,” as Jon Kabat-Zinn wrote. You might travel to escape a situation in your life, but you cannot escape yourself.
Alone, you can walk at your natural pace, stop when you like, walk more slowly up hills, and take all the time you need
I regularly walk with Jonathan and we have also done walking holidays with small groups, and I always have to adapt my pace. Everyone does, as no one walks in the same way at the same speed.
When walking alone, I can stop when I like to take pictures (and I take a lot of them!). I can head into the bushes for a wee, or walk more slowly up hills. I can take all day to walk, or put my headphones in and crank out the kilometres if I’m tired.
The pilgrim saying “your Camino, your way” emphasises the need to put judgment aside. The pilgrimage challenge is yours alone, and if you walk solo, it is easier to decide what that means.
“Stranger, pass by that which you do not love”
This old pilgrim’s advice by an anonymous sage is another aspect of ‘your pilgrimage, your way.’ You get to decide the places along the route that have meaning for you, and they may not be the same for others you travel with, or those that guidebooks laud as important.
I discovered this while walking the Pilgrims’ Way through the South Downs of Kent in England. While walking in nature was certainly restorative, I did not truly love the long stretches of open paths across fields and through woods. They were pleasant, and I needed the respite of nature, for sure, but my passion was reserved for the Gothic cathedrals of Southwark and Canterbury with their soaring naves, their arches and vaults, and their lines of clean stone. Their stark beauty caught my imagination so much more, and that is why I loved walking the Pilgrims’ Way.
Some great walking routes are primarily about natural beauty, but pilgrimages are more often through the human-built environment. They pass through towns and cities and ports and places where people have lived — and worshipped — for generations. I love the places where we have made our mark more than those that lie in wilderness.
Only you can decide which aspects of a pilgrimage route resonate with you, and ‘pass by those things you do not love.’
When walking solo, you can meet other people, walk together a while, and part ways once more
As a solo walker on a pilgrimage route, you will meet other pilgrims along the way — if you choose to — whereas if you are in a couple or an established group, you don’t need to meet others outside your circle as you already have company.
When you walk solo, other pilgrims strike up conversation and you can choose to walk together for a time, maybe share a coffee or a beer, or tips about the route, or get together at the end of the day for a meal. You can also choose to let them walk on, or indicate that you are not interested in chatting.
On the St Cuthbert’s Way after getting lost, I met two middle-aged men walking together — Dave and Keith. Dave was an experienced walker with lean limbs and a tiny pack, and he strode confidently across the landscape. Keith was a bigger man with a heavy pack like mine, and he trailed behind, walking with obvious pain in his gait.
We walked together that day and after Keith fell on the moor, I helped clean his wound with my (under-used) first aid kit. We met up again on the last day to Lindisfarne, and I learned of our mutual interest in theology and the different paths it had taken us. I would have liked to continue our conversation, but our ways diverged, as all pilgrimages do eventually. But these encounters can be memorable even in their brevity.
On the first day of my Camino out of Porto, I met a pilgrim, Caroline, heading in the wrong direction. We walked together off and on to Matasinhos that day and had a coffee overlooking the ocean while she bandaged her blisters, which had emerged after only a few kilometres.
There were others along the Camino — two Irish ladies who were only walking a few days and retired early after one sprained her wrist in a fall on the cobblestones; an Australian couple who called hello each morning as they rushed past with their day packs; a young American woman whose mum walked with her the first few days, then injured her ankle and left her daughter to walk alone; an English couple, Sid and Rose, who had met via internet dating and decided to walk the Camino to get to know each other better; a German backpacker who free ranged the route. I met each along the way and we shared friendly words, then we parted with a wave and a ‘Buen Camino.’
I’m an introvert, so I enjoy being alone. In fact, I seek it out. I found the Camino more of a challenge because there were so many people on the way.
If you walk solo and want more people-time, you can find companionship more easily if you stay in hostels or accommodation with shared spaces, rather than in private rooms.
Solitude has a resonance with pilgrimage
Cuthbert was a seventh-century monk who later became Bishop of Lindisfarne. He was sainted after his death because of miracles at his tomb, and is the patron saint of Northumbria in the north-east of England. You can still visit his shrine at Durham Cathedral.
When in need of solitude, Cuthbert withdrew to one of the tiny Farne Islands. He even built a wall around his hut so he could only see the sky as he prayed. He was an educated man with responsibilities to his community, serving the king and court at Bamburgh and leading the monks of Lindisfarne.
But solitude was his solace and his joy, and he went back to his little island alone to die.
Cuthbert balanced solitude and company at different times in his life, and perhaps that is the challenge for us all. To withdraw and be alone sometimes, in order to gain strength to go back into the world.
Questions:
• How do you feel about the prospect of walking solo?
• How do you feel about walking in a group?
• How can you use those feelings to help you make decisions about your pilgrimage?
• How can you walk ‘your pilgrimage, your way’?
• How can you tap into what you truly love, rather than relying on the opinions of others?
• How is solitude a part of your life? Does it recharge you? How could you incorporate more of it?
Resources:
• Alone Time: Four Seasons, Four Cities, and the Pleasures of Solitude — Stephanie Rosenbloom
• St Cuthbert’s Way: A Pilgrims’ Companion — Mary Low
• Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation for Everyday Life — Jon Kabat-Zinn
